Interracial Dating
Tonight was a very long night for me. I got into an argument w/ my grandmother, well not an argument more like a disagreement, b.c she told me that I am ashamed of being Black. Black as in the “race” and black is in my skin complexion. She feels this way b.c I date white guys and light skin black guys but I don’t necessarily date dark skin black guys. She thinks I’m prejudice and that I date them b.c I am ashamed of my own complexion. I guess in so many words she is saying that I want to be them. What do you think? Do you think people that date outside there race are people that are ashamed of their own skin and want to be something that they’re not?
I don’t date dark skin guys b.c I’m not attracted to them. I date white guys b.c I’m attracted to them. Things like this put you in awkward situations. I know that she doesn’t approve of interracial dating but I’m not going to stop dating who I’m attracted to to make her happy. I love my grandmother dearly but she needs to realize that we are not back in the 40s anymore, things change, people change, races change, hell and we create new ones. There are so many interracial couples out here now that sooner or later we are all going to be seriously mixed up, as if we aren’t already. I don’t know how many people can say they are a pure breed but I know I damn sure can’t.
I love my race, despite it’s down falls and I love my complexion, contrary to what she may think. I don’t ever want to be light skin or white for that matter. I like white men that like BLACK women not OREOS. Any guy, regardless of his race, has to love me for me and all that comes with me.
I’m sorry grandma but I can’t make you happy b.c at the end of the day I have to make my decisions for me, I am the only person that has to live with them. If I get hurt dating another race, as was implied, I am the only person that has to deal with that. If anybody decides to stop speaking to me b.c I am with someone that makes me happy, despite what color they are, then I don’t need you b.c my happiness is not in your best interest but it’s in mine. I guess I’ll see you when you come around.
I can respect someone who doesn’t date outside their race and I can respect someone who doesn’t approve of dating outside your race but I can’t respect someone who looks down on you b.c skin color isn’t a barrier to you. People we have to grow up, and I know for people my grandmother’s age it might be hard, but don’t knock the younger generations for trying to tear down the walls that your generation and those before you built. We are a freer spirit, things that weren’t acceptable then we embrace now. Please don’t knock us for being who we are and who we thought you raised us to be, unbiased, anti-racist, anti-segregationist, anti-bigots, and equal opportunist (even if society isn’t).
This is one of my favorite movies but it is not always a good example b.c Sanaa Lathan overexaggerated in some situations. Still it shows me that there is hope for interracial couples eventhough it is only a movie.
thecwexperience said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:46 pm
i face the same challenges girl…check out my blog and keep doing what you’re doing! : )
kiella said,
November 24, 2007 at 2:04 am
not everyone is going to understand your point and thats upseting but its whatever floats your boat, i have dated guys of so many different backgrounds and my mom started to notice that i marched to my own beat, before she would say things like i dont like my self because im black and that im with a different race to make my self feel good, and i understood what she meant but that was not the case. honestly its whoever i find interest in, i just like men no matter what he is. i never scouted out to look for a white, black, mix, asian, or latino, but thats how people think women like us are, they think we do this on purpose because of sel depreciation when most of us dont. so u should let people know to fuck off when they say shit like u hate urself or u want a mix baby with good hair. i mean some people want that but if thats what they want let them have it the only one that can judge u is god
shakiella achee said,
November 24, 2007 at 2:15 am
its what ever floats ur boat and the only one that can judge u is god. alot of people think women like us do this because of self depreciation, and that dosent apply to all of us. im nineteen and i dont discriminate i have dated almost every kind of guy and that let my parents know that im different and like variety, like some women i dont hate myself or date others because i want kids with soft hair i love myself and my race and i dont believe “we” have down falls because its inadequit to say that when every race has downfalls. basically others will think u like white men becuse of benefits and if that the case then fuck them becuse ur the one thats in bed with them and its not like ur forcing someone to accept what u like
Mya said,
December 25, 2007 at 4:14 am
Yes
i believe so
cause Dark guys are usually the ones that treat you good
not sayin that i dont understand ur point
but i believe that its more a issue about u being confident about urself
Dark skin is beautiful specially when u find the good looking ones
muh got my point
Doodle said,
June 19, 2008 at 7:58 pm
Somehow i missed the point. Probably lost in translation
Anyway … nice blog to visit.
cheers, Doodle!!
KayD said,
October 2, 2008 at 5:37 pm
I completely agree! If you date outside of your race people think its because you hate your race – which is not true. People are attracted to people who make then happy… Point blank. I have dated outside of my race and every time I get the same comments… “What you don’t like blacks guys? Why are you dating him… you want to be white or something? But the truth or the matter is People (everybody) wants to be with some one they are attracted to and makes them happy- no matter the race.
Sarina said,
October 25, 2008 at 6:31 am
i really respect what you had to say i stumbled upon this blog on accident but im glad i did and your completly right because i feel the sam way as you do im not attracted to darker skinned men but that in no way shape or form makes me ashamed of who i am im a strong black women and i wouldnt changed that for anything i love who i am and im proud of who i am so i hope your grandma will learn to understand that times do change and shes gonna have to except that and if she loves you shell learn to bite her tounge and support you i wish you the best :]