PUBLIC AFFECTION: How Much Is TO Much?
Public displays of affection: to be or not to be, to watch or not to watch, THAT is the question!
If you are someone, like myself, who is in the I’m Not Affection “clique” then the answer to that question is NOT. However, you may ride the fence, eventhough I am always told that you can’t, and decide that it’s not your thing but what the hell “I’ll watch, I don’t mind a ‘lil amateur porn.”
It seems that in a day and age where the majority of people meet their “soul mates” in untraditional places: such as on dating websites, Myspace, chat rooms…etc., that public displays of affection would take a backseat to casual conversation. This, however, has not happened. More and more people are groping, fondling, slobbing down, and doing everything under the sun, but having sex outside, to their significant other (or a stranger for that matter lol). Being from the city, I see a lot of this on the subways, at the bars, or just standing at the light. My question is what makes you think that it’s okay to do that and why do you think the rest of the world wants to see it?
I have never been an affectionate person and probably never will be, especially not for the whole world to see. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that there is anything wrong with a subtle gesture of affection to the object of your affections but why would you want to show everybody passing by or standing around what being with you is like? Like a good friend always tells me, “Everything in moderation.”
I’ve also noticed high school aged kids getting in on the action, hell they might be MOST of the action, and this goes for the gay and straight ones. They are on the subways groping and tonguing each other down like they are in private bedrooms with the windows painted black. I wonder what their parents would say if they seen the way their kids behave in public. I mean just because you’re f*cking doesn’t mean you have to let EVERYBODY KNOW you’re f*cking. And if you’re not why would you want to give out the impression that you are? Old adage time: There is a TIME and a PLACE for everything? The subway cart, bar, nor corner IS one of them.NOTE: If you don’t take anything else away from today’s blog posting LEARN, LIVE, and LOVE by that phrase.
So to my readers I guess that leaves these questions for you to respond to: How much is to much for you? When, where, and what is appropriate? And does watching someone “neck” while you’re trying to read your book, drink your coffee, or watch a movie gross you out?
The Rescuing Hug
I received an email from a dear friend, the other day, with an article in it regarding a set of twins,The article details the first week of their life. The larger of the two was born at 2.3 pds and the smaller one just 2 pds. Being born 12 weeks ahead of time they were placed in separate incubators, as is standard hospital practice, however; while one flourished towards becoming a healthy baby girl the other’s health deteriorated and the possibility of her leaving this earth became very likely.
The nurse on duty did all she could to nurse the girl back to health but to no avail. As a last resort, she asked the parents if it was ok for her to put them in the same incubator b.c it was all that she could think to do. I mean it couldn’t hurt, right? Low and behold, it worked, no sooner than the incubator door closed Brielle (sick) snuggled up to Kyrie (healthier). As soon as she was close to her sister she calmed right down and her blood-oxygen readings were the best that they had been since her birth. Kyrie wrapped her arm around her sister as they dozed off. The twins thrived in the same incubator and went home sooner then expected.
This is a great story about the bond between siblings which I, personally, know nothing about because I am the only child from my mom and my dad’s son is only 8. For one, we are to far apart in age and two it seems like the bond is harder to form when you don’t live in the same house, especially considering the age difference. So I guess my question is can the bond between two siblings be that strong and at one point does it decrease or cease to exist?
Family plays a very important part in the lives of a lot of people, my family included. So in a day and age when having multiple (anything over 3) kids is frowned upon how do you decided whether or not you want to give your kids the opportunity to have such a bond? And with the economy the way that it is right now, how can you afford it? This is definitely not the best time to be from a big immediate family that has only one source of income. But at the end of the day there are still a lot of people having 4 and 5 kids and they are making it through so, I guess to each it’s own.
Personally, coming from a big family it makes me want to have one of my own. The four or five kids is definitely something I see in my future, God willing. My grandmother has 10 kids but most of her kids only have 1. Still, having a lot of cousins makes for fun during the holidays and a lot of celebrating throughout the year. I LOVE coming from a big family and I wouldn’t change that for the world.
‘Til next time….XOXOXO!!!!!!!
Hypothetically~Would You Wanna Know
Hypothetically of course
Are there some things better left unsaid
Or would you wanna know instead
Hypothetically of course
Are there some wars not worth fighting
Some tears not worth crying
Hypothetically of course
What if this happened to you
what would you want me to do
- Lyfe Jennings, Hypothetically
This is the chorus to Lyfe Jennings song “Hypothetically.” Now John and I were discussing this the other day. For those of you that don’t know the song the background on it is this: a boyfriend is asking his girlfriend hypothetically what if he cheated on her, would she want to know or would she rather leave the past behind them, because after all it IS the past. She then counterresponds with, ” Well what if I told you that I had a confession? What if I said 4 years ago when we were arguing he came to comfort me and I wound up pregnant and I can’t be sure just if the baby’s yours.” In turn asking him would he want to know or could she just suppress it because technically he’s the baby’s daddy anyway. That is the basic run down of the song as for as what the situation was between them.
My question to you is, “Would YOU want to know and would, should, or could it even matter?”
Me, I feel like this> Yes, maybe she was wrong and if the baby isn’t his then granted he should know, JUST IN CASE because ish happens. You don’t want it coming out 10 years down the line, God forbid something happens to the child and he/she needs an organ or blood from the parent, that he isn’t the father. But at the same time, I don’t think that should stop him from being a father to the, to HIS, child especially after four years. If you are in a good situation why should something as little as DNA stop you from loving and being with the only family you know? Then I guess that would bring us to the question, “Is Love Enough?” Which is definitely a different topic for a different day.
We, as women, are faced with this situation more often then we should be: men go out and have affairs all the time and do stupid things, such as not putting a hat on, and then WE are faced with the decision to stay or go. For us the process of getting over a child outside of our “monogamous” relationship is a lot easier then it is for a man. Hence the situation of the song. And just so you know it was to much for him to handle and he left.
That brings me to the questions, and this is for the men and the women to respond to. Why is it okay for you to go out and have affairs and babies out side of the monogamous agreement but when we do it all hell has to break loose, then on top of that you usually leave? And ladies why do we let them put us in that situation and then we make it easy for them by staying?
To the ladies that have been in this situation and decided to stay, I take my hat off to you. YOU ARE A HELL OF A WOMAN, especially if he really isn’t worth the heartache anyway. I don’t know what I would do if I was faced with that situation because it is definitely one that depends on the circumstances surrounding it. However, I can say this, if he was worth it and he made me happy then yes I think I might try to work it out. With that I must bid you au revoir, until next time.
A NOTE TO THE FELLAS: What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. If you can dish it learn how to take it and if you can’t I advise you to wise up and strap up.
