What Women Want (in a man)!
Recently I was chatting with a friend online and I was explaining to him that I was getting back into blogging but am finding it a little hard because I have so many things that I want to write about that I don’t know what to write about. So I asked him what he thought would be a good topic to start with and he suggested ’what black women want from a man’. Now I thought to myself, ‘hmmm but I’ve covered something like this in a previous blog, not in detail but definitely a similar topic’; nevertheless, I’ve decided that it is definitely a topic worth covering again and possibly elaborating on. So by the request of bx4life2002 I’m bringing to you MY opinion of what a woman wants from a man black or otherwise; however, I’ve decided to eliminate the black aspect and just cover women period because I’m sure most of us want similar things regardless of race/ethnicity.
DISCLAIMER: PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT THE VIEWS/OPINIONS STATED IN THIS BLOG ARE MINE AND MINE ALONE BASED ON PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AND STORIES HEARD FROM THOSE I’VE CROSSED PATHS WITH, BE IT FRIENDS OR ASSOCIATES. THEY IN NO WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM ARE TO BE TAKEN AS ”A WHAT WOMEN WANT” BIBLE.
First and foremost I’m going to say that this is a hard yet somehow very easy topic to blog about. I say this because every woman is different so every woman’s wants/needs/desires vary with a few basic exceptions. Yet on the same token it is fairly easy because it is one that can be summed up in 5 sentences or less. That sentence is coming soon, lol, be patient. When I wrote about this topic the first time it received alot of gripes from men commenting on “women” they’ve dated. I can’t express clearly enough THE TITLE OF THE BLOG, “What WOMEN Want”. There are females all over the place but WOMEN are to often, it seems, a rare being. Now for those sentences: women want a MAN! In every sense of the word that is all a woman wants/needs. The question I always get in response is what is a man. If you are a man, a real man, you know what it is and there is no need for explanations beyond that sentence.
With all that being said, for those men that don’t know they are men or those boys that think they are men but really aren’t,I will talk a little about what a man is. A man takes care of home ALWAYS, regardless of what he does out in the street, because home is his 1st priority. A man is a provider, a lover, a confidant, and a protector all rolled in one. He wears the pants and he wears them proudly yet he has no problem lending them to his woman because he is secure in his manhood. A man takes care of his children no questions asked and will take care of yours if the situation calls for it. A man loves his woman unconditionally and expresses that love anytime, anywhere, and in front of anyone. A man isn’t afraid to cry, show emotion, or express his desire for love. He doesn’t shy away from affection and he knows that communication and compromise are the name of the game and end all and be all in any relationship. A man is secure with himself enough to understand that sometimes women are the breadwinner in a family but it doesn’t diminish his manhood nor his place as King of the Castle. A man has no problem being “domestic”, he will just as gladly get the kids ready for school, cook breakfast, lunch, and dinner, or clean the house as he would go to work for 10 hours a day. I think I’ve said enough about what a man is I’m sure people have other things to add but this is just a blog people lol and I still have to cover what women want from these men.
Now for the main course. Women want a man who is a companion in every sense of the word, not just someone who she is in a relationship with but someone who is her best friend, someone she can talk to about any and everything, if she wanted to. Someone that she can rely on with no doubt in her mind at any hour of the night for any reason under the sun whether it’s just to comfort her after a hard day or to pick her up because her car broke down in wesbubbafudge. We as women, even independent women, want to know that at any time necessary we can let all guards down and rely solely on our man to be strong for us. We want someone who will listen when we talk and not always tune us out. He will not only listen to our goals and dreams but will support them and push us toward them. We want a man who knows/learns when to just let us be or when to push the subject. We want a man who understands that it’s the little things that count. And the last thing I’m going to say but definitely not the least is we want a man that can blow our minds in the bedroom or the kitchen or on the beach or the highway, where ever your mind and hormones take you, lol.
Well men I think between my opinion of what a man is and what women want I’ve pretty much covered not all but a lot of the basic things that we look for. Anything else, as I stayed above, is subject to the woman you’re dating. Women if I’ve left anything out please leave a comment. Men as well, I would like to hear your feedback.
Until next time friends, family, strangers, tweeple,…etc. I hope you enjoy and I hope you join me for my next blog titled “Dads Are Parents Too, Where’s Their Justice?”
Getting Back Into the Groove of Things
Hello people my name is Ms. K and I’ve been MIA from the blogging scene for quite some time now but I’m back and I hope you will accept me as if I’ve never left. There are a few things that I would like to get off my chest and put out there as I rebegin the journey of my life; however, this time around it’s not all about me but about me AND my gorgeous son.
With that said I would like to start off by thanking a very important and prominent person in my life for requesting the restartup of my blog. Being a new mom I am still walking the fine line of spending all of my “free” time sleeping and/or getting used to being a new mom. I’ve found that I’ve been lost within myself, if that makes any sense to you. I know what I want to do and I know how to get it done or at least where to start yet I’m lacking the motivation to do it. I literally have done nothing but take care of my son for the past 7 weeks. Don’t get me wrong, that is no small feat especially for any mom, like myself, who is strictly breastfeeding b/c that means for the first 5-6 weeks no one can feed your baby, whom eats every 2-3 hours, but you. I wonder if losing apart of yourself within yourself is something that alot of new moms can relate to. Moms your thoughts?
So this is me attempting to break the stupor that I’ve been in for the past 7 weeks. There is so much on the agenda in my head that needs to get done that I literally don’t know where to start or maybe I do considering that I’ve decided to start here. A couple things on my agenda are starting my business and going back to work part time as I am not quite ready to start working full time yet. I’m not ready to be away from my son for 40+ hours a week for the sole purpose of making money. I can’t help but think about when I may be that comfortable and when I will be ready to go back to work; I know I have it in me and I know we need to provide for him the things that he needs to become a confident, knowledgeable, and educated man. Ironically all of this comes on the brink of me deciding whether going to grad school in the States or going to grad school in Ireland would be a better choice. This is a battle that I’ve been fighting with for quite some time now.
Well I’m not going to overdo it. I think I did pretty good for being out of the loop for over a year. I really need to get back to school I’m starting to feel a little slow. Please feel free to comment on any part of my blog that you think relates to you, your situation, or a situation you know of.
PUBLIC AFFECTION: How Much Is TO Much?
Public displays of affection: to be or not to be, to watch or not to watch, THAT is the question!
If you are someone, like myself, who is in the I’m Not Affection “clique” then the answer to that question is NOT. However, you may ride the fence, eventhough I am always told that you can’t, and decide that it’s not your thing but what the hell “I’ll watch, I don’t mind a ‘lil amateur porn.”
It seems that in a day and age where the majority of people meet their “soul mates” in untraditional places: such as on dating websites, Myspace, chat rooms…etc., that public displays of affection would take a backseat to casual conversation. This, however, has not happened. More and more people are groping, fondling, slobbing down, and doing everything under the sun, but having sex outside, to their significant other (or a stranger for that matter lol). Being from the city, I see a lot of this on the subways, at the bars, or just standing at the light. My question is what makes you think that it’s okay to do that and why do you think the rest of the world wants to see it?
I have never been an affectionate person and probably never will be, especially not for the whole world to see. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that there is anything wrong with a subtle gesture of affection to the object of your affections but why would you want to show everybody passing by or standing around what being with you is like? Like a good friend always tells me, “Everything in moderation.”
I’ve also noticed high school aged kids getting in on the action, hell they might be MOST of the action, and this goes for the gay and straight ones. They are on the subways groping and tonguing each other down like they are in private bedrooms with the windows painted black. I wonder what their parents would say if they seen the way their kids behave in public. I mean just because you’re f*cking doesn’t mean you have to let EVERYBODY KNOW you’re f*cking. And if you’re not why would you want to give out the impression that you are? Old adage time: There is a TIME and a PLACE for everything? The subway cart, bar, nor corner IS one of them.NOTE: If you don’t take anything else away from today’s blog posting LEARN, LIVE, and LOVE by that phrase.
So to my readers I guess that leaves these questions for you to respond to: How much is to much for you? When, where, and what is appropriate? And does watching someone “neck” while you’re trying to read your book, drink your coffee, or watch a movie gross you out?
Hypothetically~Would You Wanna Know
Hypothetically of course
Are there some things better left unsaid
Or would you wanna know instead
Hypothetically of course
Are there some wars not worth fighting
Some tears not worth crying
Hypothetically of course
What if this happened to you
what would you want me to do
- Lyfe Jennings, Hypothetically
This is the chorus to Lyfe Jennings song “Hypothetically.” Now John and I were discussing this the other day. For those of you that don’t know the song the background on it is this: a boyfriend is asking his girlfriend hypothetically what if he cheated on her, would she want to know or would she rather leave the past behind them, because after all it IS the past. She then counterresponds with, ” Well what if I told you that I had a confession? What if I said 4 years ago when we were arguing he came to comfort me and I wound up pregnant and I can’t be sure just if the baby’s yours.” In turn asking him would he want to know or could she just suppress it because technically he’s the baby’s daddy anyway. That is the basic run down of the song as for as what the situation was between them.
My question to you is, “Would YOU want to know and would, should, or could it even matter?”
Me, I feel like this> Yes, maybe she was wrong and if the baby isn’t his then granted he should know, JUST IN CASE because ish happens. You don’t want it coming out 10 years down the line, God forbid something happens to the child and he/she needs an organ or blood from the parent, that he isn’t the father. But at the same time, I don’t think that should stop him from being a father to the, to HIS, child especially after four years. If you are in a good situation why should something as little as DNA stop you from loving and being with the only family you know? Then I guess that would bring us to the question, “Is Love Enough?” Which is definitely a different topic for a different day.
We, as women, are faced with this situation more often then we should be: men go out and have affairs all the time and do stupid things, such as not putting a hat on, and then WE are faced with the decision to stay or go. For us the process of getting over a child outside of our “monogamous” relationship is a lot easier then it is for a man. Hence the situation of the song. And just so you know it was to much for him to handle and he left.
That brings me to the questions, and this is for the men and the women to respond to. Why is it okay for you to go out and have affairs and babies out side of the monogamous agreement but when we do it all hell has to break loose, then on top of that you usually leave? And ladies why do we let them put us in that situation and then we make it easy for them by staying?
To the ladies that have been in this situation and decided to stay, I take my hat off to you. YOU ARE A HELL OF A WOMAN, especially if he really isn’t worth the heartache anyway. I don’t know what I would do if I was faced with that situation because it is definitely one that depends on the circumstances surrounding it. However, I can say this, if he was worth it and he made me happy then yes I think I might try to work it out. With that I must bid you au revoir, until next time.
A NOTE TO THE FELLAS: What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. If you can dish it learn how to take it and if you can’t I advise you to wise up and strap up.
Lovers & Friends
6 out of 10 guys think that satisfying a woman is sexually pleasing her. Wrong fellas! True, sexually pleasing is a major part of satisfying her because sex makes up about 30% of a relationship. But that is not all there is to it.
To please your woman 100% you must be, not only her lover, but her best friend. If she just wanted good sex she could f*ck any Joe Schmo on the street, dicks come a dime a dozen. You must be there for her when she needs you and be willing to make sacrifices if it comes to that, which it will. Every woman wants to be able to chill w/ her man w/o always having to deal w/ the stresses of being in a relationship, just as every man should want this from his woman. I know those are things she should do w/ her friends but you don`t always feel like being bothered w/ your friends. Sometimes you just want to be in the presence of your significant other.
You can tell when you are pleasing your woman , not only physically but emotionally, b/c she will be willing to do anything it takes to make you happy. She will always have your back because that`s what a GOOD WOMAN does and she will walk to the end of the earth with/for you if you ask her too, and you may not even have to ask. Just remember, “ you have to give it to get it!” If you don`t know what I`m talking about sleep on it!!
Note: These statements are my personal opinion as a woman and are not based on facts. There was no research done, just a living example.
Life’s Unexpected Twists
It’s funny how life works. Things happen to you and you would never see yourself in that situation until your placed smack dab in the middle of that very situation.
I work at a temp agency so I talk to a lot of people that are looking for work or looking to supplement an already existent income. The other day I received a call from a gentleman, whom we will call John, looking for work while he is on the East coast for the summer. Apparently, he was so smitten (and yes babe I said smitten) with the way that I sound he decided to call back and offer me his number for casual conversation, whenever I might possibly be free. Me, being the free spirit that I am, I took it.
For about a week now we have been talking on the phone everyday for a minimum of 2 hours a day. I have never met someone in the entirety of my life that I have so much in common with. Even when I date other people that are the same sign as me. It’s like we talk about anything from what the day was like to arranged marriages (the latest topic of discussion).
So I guess that brings me to how life hands you things to see how you will deal with them. I’m not saying that this guy is the man of my dreams but I’m not turning my nose up at the idea that he could possibly be. Life is short and if an opportunity presents itself I feel like you should take it just because you never know the reasoning behind its appearance until its over. And if you don’t take life by the wings and soar as high as the sky will let you, you will be left on the ground wondering what if and/or how come. My only advice is to hold on tight because the ride can be a douzy sometimes.
Interracial Dating
Tonight was a very long night for me. I got into an argument w/ my grandmother, well not an argument more like a disagreement, b.c she told me that I am ashamed of being Black. Black as in the “race” and black is in my skin complexion. She feels this way b.c I date white guys and light skin black guys but I don’t necessarily date dark skin black guys. She thinks I’m prejudice and that I date them b.c I am ashamed of my own complexion. I guess in so many words she is saying that I want to be them. What do you think? Do you think people that date outside there race are people that are ashamed of their own skin and want to be something that they’re not?
I don’t date dark skin guys b.c I’m not attracted to them. I date white guys b.c I’m attracted to them. Things like this put you in awkward situations. I know that she doesn’t approve of interracial dating but I’m not going to stop dating who I’m attracted to to make her happy. I love my grandmother dearly but she needs to realize that we are not back in the 40s anymore, things change, people change, races change, hell and we create new ones. There are so many interracial couples out here now that sooner or later we are all going to be seriously mixed up, as if we aren’t already. I don’t know how many people can say they are a pure breed but I know I damn sure can’t.
I love my race, despite it’s down falls and I love my complexion, contrary to what she may think. I don’t ever want to be light skin or white for that matter. I like white men that like BLACK women not OREOS. Any guy, regardless of his race, has to love me for me and all that comes with me.
I’m sorry grandma but I can’t make you happy b.c at the end of the day I have to make my decisions for me, I am the only person that has to live with them. If I get hurt dating another race, as was implied, I am the only person that has to deal with that. If anybody decides to stop speaking to me b.c I am with someone that makes me happy, despite what color they are, then I don’t need you b.c my happiness is not in your best interest but it’s in mine. I guess I’ll see you when you come around.
I can respect someone who doesn’t date outside their race and I can respect someone who doesn’t approve of dating outside your race but I can’t respect someone who looks down on you b.c skin color isn’t a barrier to you. People we have to grow up, and I know for people my grandmother’s age it might be hard, but don’t knock the younger generations for trying to tear down the walls that your generation and those before you built. We are a freer spirit, things that weren’t acceptable then we embrace now. Please don’t knock us for being who we are and who we thought you raised us to be, unbiased, anti-racist, anti-segregationist, anti-bigots, and equal opportunist (even if society isn’t).
This is one of my favorite movies but it is not always a good example b.c Sanaa Lathan overexaggerated in some situations. Still it shows me that there is hope for interracial couples eventhough it is only a movie.
